Failure seems to be the theme of my life lately, since embarking on new personal and professional goals that stretch me physically, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. With great desire comes almost equal sacrifice, struggle, and – sometimes painful and constantly uncomfortable – change. And let’s be real. Change, though necessary and absolutely essential for meeting new goals, is not easy! It requires breaking of old habits, learning new skills, being thrust out of your comfort zone time and again until new habits are formed and the goal is within reach…at which time, undoubtably, new goals will be set.
For me, the pursuit of these new goals has been anything but comfortable and has been rife with setbacks, roadblocks, and challenges sometimes requiring me to push harder and other times requiring a change of direction or adjustment of the goal. It has been frustrating, stressful, exhausting at times and exhilarating at others. Truly, an emotional roller coaster!
But, today, I am thankful for all of the “failures” I’ve encountered along the way to my goals. These “failures” are the stumbling blocks that cause me to pause, take a step back, reevaluate the what’s, why’s, and how’s of each goal and help me to reflect on where I have been, where I am going, why I am doing what I am doing and how I can improve to accomplish the goals in front of me.
INTERSECTION OF FAITH & FITNESS
My trainer frequently reminds me that “there is no such thing as failure – in the ATTEMPT is where we win”.
My training sessions generally become vent sessions as I let my frustrations out on my trainer during difficult workouts… “Why can’t I feel it where I should? Why isn’t this muscle or that muscle activating correctly? What am I doing wrong? Why is this wrong? Why can’t I get this? What’s wrong NOW? UGHHHH!!!” He hears it ALL, trust me! You see, I am learning to overcome a lot of errors in my weight training and he has been working with me to fix a lot of built up bad habits, bad form, and incorrect alignment that my body has adjusted to over years of inconsistent and incorrect training. Re-training my muscles to drop the bad habits and form new ones has been a true struggle. I affectionally call it “remedial class” for my muscles. Getting them to do what my brain is telling them is a slow process and every tiny “win” along the way (“yes!” “that was it” “I can feel it now”) is a victory dance in my soul. Sometimes, I honestly leave the gym feeling defeated. Other times I could fly home on the wings of my excitement. But, the value is in the fact that I showed up, I gave it my best, I ATTEMPTed.
As the desire to deepen my relationship with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, grows within me, I long to be with Him more frequently in the Holy Mass, adoration before the Blessed Sacrament, receiving the sacrament of Reconciliation, and deepening my prayer life. Much like my goals in the gym, I have spiritual success and failures as well. Those days I don’t make it to Mass, or miss an opportunity to spend time in prayer (usually by getting distracted by worldly things like TV or the internet), I can be hard on myself. It feels like a failure. But, God’s mercy finds us in our failures and His grace in our ATTEMPTS. So, I will offer up my “failings” to the Lord and beg His grace to allow Him to work within me, changing me (habits and all) from the inside out.
“but he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me. Therefore, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and constraints, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong.” ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
Thanks and praise to the Lord, Jesus Christ!
~ Natalie
Originally written November 26, 2015 – Thanksgiving Day
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